NebbieJae (nebbiejae) wrote in texas_lesbians,

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Sitting here

I'm sitting here wondering why I always feel so alone! My girlfriend of four years broke up with me 5 months ago and I am still hurting but I try to hide all of my pain! I put on a front so that she doesn't know how hurt I am! I put on a show so that I can keep her in my life! She always says it's nothing u did it's not about u it's both of us, but every issue or problem or concern she ever had about us that she ever brings up just so happens to be something I did! Hello there! I never cheated on you I treated u like a queen rubbing your feet making tour dinner cleaning our house paying the bills make ur appointments scratching your bak every night... I kept is solid and yes I did tell a couple little lies because I didn't want you to know when we were struggling... I want u to be happy and I messed up when I did that. What did u do for me? All I wanted was flowers every once on a while to hear you say I love you to hold me an tell me everything is okay and you broke the only promise u ever made me that's what I got u promised me u wouldn't break my heart...u might as well have ripped it out of my chest with your bare hands and threw it in a blender. I left everythin and eveyone I knew and know to be here in Texas with you! I gave you all of me I let my walls down for you...and you couldn't even bring yours down not even a little bit! You want to be friends and see where thing go from there but that's so hard to do when u dont even acknowledge the fact that I'm in the same room sometimes!

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